Every woman must know how to share a bathroom with a man. It’s an essential life skill. Many women, having the benefit of sharing a bathroom with brothers, learned the basics in their youth. Although not fully educated in the enterprise of cohabitation, they are the fortunate ones.
However, there’s a significant population of women who never experienced this sibling advantage and whose fathers shared an en suite bathroom with their mother. These are the piteous ones who, upon their marriage, experience the shock and awe of the completely uninitiated.
We may add “administration of the toilet” to the list of neglected subjects in our formal education – like raising a credit score or maximizing the life of produce in your refrigerator. We discover our lack of preparation in the midst of unnecessary mayhem. So, in the interest of women everywhere and for their comprehensive training, I offer the following instruction.
Brace Yourself For Sharing A Bathroom
A grown man may not be any tidier than a toddler. But don’t let this come as a shock and throw you into a slack-jawed stupor. Your first step is to understand you may face one or more of the following scenarios.
- Your man may elect to sport facial hair which requires maintenance. At his discretion, your man will trim his facial hair – an act which requires the focus of his cognitive energy to such a degree it affects his peripheral vision. Be aware, he may not even see the clippings left on the vanity as he walks away from them.
- You know shower curtains will mold if they are not extended across the rod after exiting the shower. I know it. Your man does not know this. Furthermore, he does not care to know it because he is not bothered by mold. It’s part of nature.
- Along the lines of the previous point, I remind you that towels mildew if they do not dry properly. That’s why they must be placed back on the towel bar and extended. Your man will consider his job complete if he places a wadded towel on top of the bar. That’s where it goes, isn’t it? An exceptional man may even drape the towel across the bar so that the front hangs flatly. To insist front and back hang flat is your OCD issue.
- Some couples argue over which way the toilet paper falls over the roll – over or under. But your man may not think it’s necessary to put the roll on the rod at all. To him, it is perfectly acceptable to sit a roll of toilet paper on top of a horizontal, wall-mounted holder. And technically, it’s on the holder and you can unroll it according to your preference. Debate over.
- Inevitably, you will be toothpaste incompatible. He likes Crest while you prefer Colgate. Or visa versa. On the bright side, you will never run out of toothpaste because as you see it running low, you’ll both race to buy your brand first.
- There will be pee on the floor. Apparently, the circumference of a toilet is too small and mankind has bigger fish to fry than to engineer a toilet so a man even has a chance to keep the floor clean.Mankind has bigger fish to fry than to engineer a toilet so a man even has a chance to keep the… Click To Tweet
A Course Of Action For Sharing A Bathroom
Now that you understand the challenges, you can customize strategies to address them. Here are a few that have worked well for veteran women of bathroom wars.
- Abandoned hair clippings, shower curtains left open, and wadded towels have the same remedy. You should take your man by the hand, walk him back to the bathroom, and give him a cheerful lecture about sanitation and financial stewardship. Repeat until the behavior resolves. Shouldn’t take long.
- Toilet paper that sits on top of wall-mounted holders is not really secure. A roll could find its way out of reach of the toilet (that’s why it’s called a “roll”) forcing the unobservant to scramble when they need it most. I’m not saying this should happen. Just sayin’ it could.
- As far as I know, there’s no law that says you have to share toothpaste. Use your own brand and both be happy.
- You could insist your man always assume the seated position, but it’s a rather extreme approach and let’s be honest, there’s still no guarantee the toilet will be an adequate target. The consensus of many women who have shared their bathroom with a man over decades is to give grace here. Simply acknowledge and appreciate men take up precious little storage area when sharing a bathroom with you – and get a good steam mop.